Don't think for a minute that I have forgotten anything you ever did to me!
I remember every lie you ever told and every promise you never kept.
I remember the letter you wrote me on V-day, only for me to find that receipt 2 days later. I remember you coming home after signing the lease on your new place telling me to just give you a little time and then we could be together again. I remember the mornings when you would come over and things you would do and say. I remember how after I told her about us you told me you came clean...only to find out that was far from true. I remember telling you I was looking for a new place and you telling me not to because there was still hope for us. I remember it all.
Even now, after all these years, I can hear your lies echoing in my head. So, do not tell me your sob story, do not try to play the "poor me" card with me. I know how you operate--how you like to manipulate people into waiting for something you are never going to give them. I hate that you are hurting, I truly do. But, it is time you realize that you bring this hurt to yourself. Every day you make choices that can change your life. It is time to grow up and start making good choices.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Knocking around my brain...
Somebody's Someone...
Get out of bed, start your day
Turn the news on on your way
Hear them talking about another bombing in the square
killed hundreds of the people that were gathered there
you think to yourself your glad that it happened far away
Their just names and places
people without faces
Bad things happening all around the world
To you and me they could be anyone...anywhere
But to somewhere out there... somebody lost their someone
Middle of the day, grab a coffee break
read the paper, try to get away
On the front page is the picture of another woman who has gone missing
Haven't seen her in a week, chances are getting slim
Her husband cries as they point their fingers at him
Their just names and places
people without faces
Bad things happening all around the world
To you and me they could be anyone...anywhere
But to somewhere out there... somebody lost their someone
Five o'clock comes, it's the end of the day
Hit the interstate, it's the quickest way
You never see the truck as it starts to swerve
When the ambulance comes your car is upside down on a curb
The police man looks for some id
Their just names and places
people without faces
Bad things happening all around the world
To you and me they could be anyone...anywhere
But to somewhere out there... somebody lost their someone
Your family just lost their someone.
Get out of bed, start your day
Turn the news on on your way
Hear them talking about another bombing in the square
killed hundreds of the people that were gathered there
you think to yourself your glad that it happened far away
Their just names and places
people without faces
Bad things happening all around the world
To you and me they could be anyone...anywhere
But to somewhere out there... somebody lost their someone
Middle of the day, grab a coffee break
read the paper, try to get away
On the front page is the picture of another woman who has gone missing
Haven't seen her in a week, chances are getting slim
Her husband cries as they point their fingers at him
Their just names and places
people without faces
Bad things happening all around the world
To you and me they could be anyone...anywhere
But to somewhere out there... somebody lost their someone
Five o'clock comes, it's the end of the day
Hit the interstate, it's the quickest way
You never see the truck as it starts to swerve
When the ambulance comes your car is upside down on a curb
The police man looks for some id
Their just names and places
people without faces
Bad things happening all around the world
To you and me they could be anyone...anywhere
But to somewhere out there... somebody lost their someone
Your family just lost their someone.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Yuck!
It took me a long time to get over you.
Much longer than it should have.
I spent the weeks and months following our seperation in constant state of depression. Crying all the time, not able to eat, sleep, or even function. Once I passed that stage, and my body started to move on, my heart still lagged behind. I am not sure exactly when it happened, but one day when I saw you, instead of having my heart tugged all around, I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
So, why is it now, after talking to you for less than a week, you have such a strong pull on me again?
I hate that you can do this to me.
I hate myself for letting you even more.
Much longer than it should have.
I spent the weeks and months following our seperation in constant state of depression. Crying all the time, not able to eat, sleep, or even function. Once I passed that stage, and my body started to move on, my heart still lagged behind. I am not sure exactly when it happened, but one day when I saw you, instead of having my heart tugged all around, I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
So, why is it now, after talking to you for less than a week, you have such a strong pull on me again?
I hate that you can do this to me.
I hate myself for letting you even more.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Am I the only one who feels this way?
I love the old saying "Some friends are for a season, some friends are for a reason".
I have always had people in my life that come and go, yet leave footprints on my heart that make them impossible to ever forget. There is an old boyfriend from high school who in my concious state rarely crosses my mind. He is not what I would call "the great love of my life". Just a normal high school sweetheart kind of thing. We did not share any of the awkward "firsts" of adolesence with each other. Yet, for some reason, once or twice a month I have vivid dreams in which he plays the starring role. No clue why this is!
I have an ex who I dated for a long amount of time and back in those days I thought he climbed up on a ladder and hung the moon for me each and every night. These days I have to really rack my brain to recall anything about him! He is just gone from my heart and soul as if he was never there.
There is another ex who will always be a part of who I am. When he hurts, I hurt with him. When he is happy, I am happy for him. Even when we broke up and I felt that my life could not possibly continue without him in it, I still felt good knowing he was in a better place.
He is hurting now, and I want to help so bad. I just don't know what to do or say to make it better. I did not cause the pain, but I can see clearly now the sort of pain I did cause him in the past--and it kills me.
I have always had people in my life that come and go, yet leave footprints on my heart that make them impossible to ever forget. There is an old boyfriend from high school who in my concious state rarely crosses my mind. He is not what I would call "the great love of my life". Just a normal high school sweetheart kind of thing. We did not share any of the awkward "firsts" of adolesence with each other. Yet, for some reason, once or twice a month I have vivid dreams in which he plays the starring role. No clue why this is!
I have an ex who I dated for a long amount of time and back in those days I thought he climbed up on a ladder and hung the moon for me each and every night. These days I have to really rack my brain to recall anything about him! He is just gone from my heart and soul as if he was never there.
There is another ex who will always be a part of who I am. When he hurts, I hurt with him. When he is happy, I am happy for him. Even when we broke up and I felt that my life could not possibly continue without him in it, I still felt good knowing he was in a better place.
He is hurting now, and I want to help so bad. I just don't know what to do or say to make it better. I did not cause the pain, but I can see clearly now the sort of pain I did cause him in the past--and it kills me.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
WTF?????
Time to go back and clean the slate of any comments made previously by me about how great life is!
LIFE STINKS!!!
I am 100% living in a funk right now. The past 2 weeks have been pure hell for me! I would say things could not get any worse, but I know better.
Hubby lost his job about 2 weeks ago. Totally random, out of the blue. No severance, no nothing. Let me say, we are very much a two income family. Even with both incomes, we live an extremely budget concious life. The incoming funds and the outgoing bills are not too far apart. So, obviously, removing one of those incomes with no forsight or planning has left us in a bit of a pickle. Not to mention, hubby is sad and mopey because he feels inadequate and miserable.
Then, a mere 2 days following hubby's unexpected departure from the land of the employed, my dad goes in for a routine colonoscopy. No symptoms, no problems, just giving in to his doctors urges to have this test done. Boom. Colon Cancer is living inside. They do not know how far advanced it is, or even what all the treatment will entail. He goes in for surgery next week to have half the colon removed and they will go from there...
On a less severe, but also concerning note, my little boy is starting to have some issues as well. We are pressing for the school system to get him enrolled in their speech therapy program. Geez! Who would have known all the red tape they put you through for this! He is struggling with concentration on assignments and becomes easily discouraged and aggravated if something does not come easy to him. I don't want to use the dreaded ADD words, but I am starting to wonder...
Well, that sums up life for me. Hope yours is better!
Lots going on in my little world.
LIFE STINKS!!!
I am 100% living in a funk right now. The past 2 weeks have been pure hell for me! I would say things could not get any worse, but I know better.
Hubby lost his job about 2 weeks ago. Totally random, out of the blue. No severance, no nothing. Let me say, we are very much a two income family. Even with both incomes, we live an extremely budget concious life. The incoming funds and the outgoing bills are not too far apart. So, obviously, removing one of those incomes with no forsight or planning has left us in a bit of a pickle. Not to mention, hubby is sad and mopey because he feels inadequate and miserable.
Then, a mere 2 days following hubby's unexpected departure from the land of the employed, my dad goes in for a routine colonoscopy. No symptoms, no problems, just giving in to his doctors urges to have this test done. Boom. Colon Cancer is living inside. They do not know how far advanced it is, or even what all the treatment will entail. He goes in for surgery next week to have half the colon removed and they will go from there...
On a less severe, but also concerning note, my little boy is starting to have some issues as well. We are pressing for the school system to get him enrolled in their speech therapy program. Geez! Who would have known all the red tape they put you through for this! He is struggling with concentration on assignments and becomes easily discouraged and aggravated if something does not come easy to him. I don't want to use the dreaded ADD words, but I am starting to wonder...
Well, that sums up life for me. Hope yours is better!
Lots going on in my little world.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Mommy wow, I'm a big kid now!
So, the powers that be have blocked many websites at work for quite some time now--namely anything I might actually enjoy! The reason they gave was spywear blah blah blah spam blah blah blah because we can. Well, lo and behold--the fun is back! At least for now...
There is not much to report, yet tons to report...all at once. Funny how that works.
Life is good--my 5 year wedding anniversary is Friday of this week. Who would have thought?? Hmmmm...
Some other things are going on, which are interesting to say the least. More on that to follow.
Work is work--what more can I say about that? There are good things and bad things, but at the end of the day the paycheck is all I am there for.
There is not much to report, yet tons to report...all at once. Funny how that works.
Life is good--my 5 year wedding anniversary is Friday of this week. Who would have thought?? Hmmmm...
Some other things are going on, which are interesting to say the least. More on that to follow.
Work is work--what more can I say about that? There are good things and bad things, but at the end of the day the paycheck is all I am there for.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Warning...explicit language to follow!
For the love of GOD!!!
I really thought that once I left the halls of high school the child-like bullshit would end and we could all hold our heads high and realize that we have entered the lovely land of adulthood. Guess I was wrong...
Read the following exchange:
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Talking to your husband!!!!
Excuse me for a moment while I address an issue...
I noticed this evening that on the "coloring box" on my profile, someone has posed the following question:
"I just want to know if you are still talking to my husband"
First of all, I speak to many women's husbands on a daily basis...co-workers, customers, committee members, the list goes on and on. Without further identifying yourself--and your husband--I am hardly in a position to answer such a question.
Secondly, let me remind you all that we are adults and the child-like games that we once played are really not neccessary. Grow the fuck up.
Seriously.
So, if anyone has anything to ask me, feel free to do so. And for the record, yes, I probably am still talking to your husband.
Lisa
Well, first of all, you know who I am and you exactly why I asked you the question. And if you are still talking to my husband, YOU have a serious problem on your hands. Maybe you should stay out of other people's lives and work on your own marriage instead of trying to "get the one that got away". You are the one that needs to be an adult and instead of sneaking around talking to other peoples husbands, talk to your own, instead of "Falling back in Love with mine!!!!!" I have a family that I am desparately trying to keep together and I don't need the EX TRAMP interfering with that. Because if you do, it won't be a good thing!!!!
Posted by Steve & Misty on Monday, July 02, 2007 at 7:32 AM
First of all, if you had not done the things you did, you would not be in the position to "desperately try to keep your family together". I do not think anyone interferring has anything to do with that. You made your bed and it is time you lie in it. If you are so concerned about whether or not I am talking to him, why don't you just ask Steve? Oh, wait---you guys probably have some trust issues these days, huh?
Posted by Lisa on Wednesday, July 04, 2007 at 10:08 AM
Well, little do you know.... You were talking to him before we even split up, so that makes you just as shitty as me. But, the difference between me and you is that I am making an effort. And as for Steve, why he would want to talk to someone who claimed she was pregnant with his child and then demanded that he pay for an abortion....oooops, bet ya thought I forgot about that shady shit. And as far as my relationship with my husband, that is completely none of your business, you cheated on him the whole time ya'll were together.....with BOB nonetheless.Yes, and don't think that I won't call your husband and let him in on few things myself. You need to stay away from MY husband, or there will be serious consequences to pay.Be an adult and be a WOMAN and respect my family and I will respect yours. Just answer the question.....
Posted by Steve & Misty on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 7:07 AM
This is starting to get ridiculous. If you want to talk about this, email me directly at xxxxxx Otherwise, I am done here.
Posted by Lisa on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 12:04 PM
Now, let me back up just a bit and fill you in. The instigator of this exchange is the wife of my ex-boyfriend/fiance'. We have some history between us due to the fact that she started dating him about 7 seconds after we broke up and did not understand why he and I remained friends. Needless to say, our friendship lasted all of a hot minute before she had enough and nipped it in the bud. No hard feelings...all of our lives moved on.
Fastforward 7-8 years...
By complete and total chance Steve and I run into each other. We chat a bit and make all of the appropriate pleasantries that two people who used to be a part of one anothers lives do. (Great to see you! We should get together soon! Keep in touch!) We all know that drill.
Well, low and behold, the next morning I come to work and see that he has held true to his word and sent me an email. Throughout our conversations he learned that I was now happily married with two kids, and I learned that he was on the verge of seperation from his wife. We emailed back and forth for a few days and decided to get together for lunch one day. Lunch became a regular date for us (which my husband always knew about and even joined on occassion!)
After about 5 months of this he decided he was going to patch things up with honey-pie and I felt that it would be best if we ceased all communication. I know how she feels about me and felt that if he was going to walk back into his marriage, he needed to do so in an open and honest way. As long as he was friends with me, he would hold that information back. This led to a little "tiff" between us, but either way I have not spoken to him, seen him, or had any formal of communication with him for nearly 10 months now.
Then, out of the blue the above communication occurs!
WTF?
I really thought that once I left the halls of high school the child-like bullshit would end and we could all hold our heads high and realize that we have entered the lovely land of adulthood. Guess I was wrong...
Read the following exchange:
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Talking to your husband!!!!
Excuse me for a moment while I address an issue...
I noticed this evening that on the "coloring box" on my profile, someone has posed the following question:
"I just want to know if you are still talking to my husband"
First of all, I speak to many women's husbands on a daily basis...co-workers, customers, committee members, the list goes on and on. Without further identifying yourself--and your husband--I am hardly in a position to answer such a question.
Secondly, let me remind you all that we are adults and the child-like games that we once played are really not neccessary. Grow the fuck up.
Seriously.
So, if anyone has anything to ask me, feel free to do so. And for the record, yes, I probably am still talking to your husband.
Lisa
Well, first of all, you know who I am and you exactly why I asked you the question. And if you are still talking to my husband, YOU have a serious problem on your hands. Maybe you should stay out of other people's lives and work on your own marriage instead of trying to "get the one that got away". You are the one that needs to be an adult and instead of sneaking around talking to other peoples husbands, talk to your own, instead of "Falling back in Love with mine!!!!!" I have a family that I am desparately trying to keep together and I don't need the EX TRAMP interfering with that. Because if you do, it won't be a good thing!!!!
Posted by Steve & Misty on Monday, July 02, 2007 at 7:32 AM
First of all, if you had not done the things you did, you would not be in the position to "desperately try to keep your family together". I do not think anyone interferring has anything to do with that. You made your bed and it is time you lie in it. If you are so concerned about whether or not I am talking to him, why don't you just ask Steve? Oh, wait---you guys probably have some trust issues these days, huh?
Posted by Lisa on Wednesday, July 04, 2007 at 10:08 AM
Well, little do you know.... You were talking to him before we even split up, so that makes you just as shitty as me. But, the difference between me and you is that I am making an effort. And as for Steve, why he would want to talk to someone who claimed she was pregnant with his child and then demanded that he pay for an abortion....oooops, bet ya thought I forgot about that shady shit. And as far as my relationship with my husband, that is completely none of your business, you cheated on him the whole time ya'll were together.....with BOB nonetheless.Yes, and don't think that I won't call your husband and let him in on few things myself. You need to stay away from MY husband, or there will be serious consequences to pay.Be an adult and be a WOMAN and respect my family and I will respect yours. Just answer the question.....
Posted by Steve & Misty on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 7:07 AM
This is starting to get ridiculous. If you want to talk about this, email me directly at xxxxxx Otherwise, I am done here.
Posted by Lisa on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 12:04 PM
Now, let me back up just a bit and fill you in. The instigator of this exchange is the wife of my ex-boyfriend/fiance'. We have some history between us due to the fact that she started dating him about 7 seconds after we broke up and did not understand why he and I remained friends. Needless to say, our friendship lasted all of a hot minute before she had enough and nipped it in the bud. No hard feelings...all of our lives moved on.
Fastforward 7-8 years...
By complete and total chance Steve and I run into each other. We chat a bit and make all of the appropriate pleasantries that two people who used to be a part of one anothers lives do. (Great to see you! We should get together soon! Keep in touch!) We all know that drill.
Well, low and behold, the next morning I come to work and see that he has held true to his word and sent me an email. Throughout our conversations he learned that I was now happily married with two kids, and I learned that he was on the verge of seperation from his wife. We emailed back and forth for a few days and decided to get together for lunch one day. Lunch became a regular date for us (which my husband always knew about and even joined on occassion!)
After about 5 months of this he decided he was going to patch things up with honey-pie and I felt that it would be best if we ceased all communication. I know how she feels about me and felt that if he was going to walk back into his marriage, he needed to do so in an open and honest way. As long as he was friends with me, he would hold that information back. This led to a little "tiff" between us, but either way I have not spoken to him, seen him, or had any formal of communication with him for nearly 10 months now.
Then, out of the blue the above communication occurs!
WTF?
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Long Time, No Type...
Life has been busy, so I have not updated here in a while.
Where do I begin??
Work is still annoying, life is pretty much the same.
I am looking forward to our family vacation that is rapidly approaching. Holy Crap! We leave in 3 days and I can not wait. Some nice R&R with the hubby and kids is just what the doctor ordered.
Speaking of the hubby, let me just say that with each passing year things just get better and better!
I am in awe at the wonderful life I have!
Where do I begin??
Work is still annoying, life is pretty much the same.
I am looking forward to our family vacation that is rapidly approaching. Holy Crap! We leave in 3 days and I can not wait. Some nice R&R with the hubby and kids is just what the doctor ordered.
Speaking of the hubby, let me just say that with each passing year things just get better and better!
I am in awe at the wonderful life I have!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Annoying Things at work!
I work in a call center for a utility company. During the past year and a half or so I have realized that there are certain things a caller can say to send me into instant insanity!
- If you live in an apartment, the apartment number is part of your address. It is not just the extra number they give you for shits and giggles. It is very important and needs to be given when you are asking for service.
- When a person answers the phone "Good morning, this is ____, how may I help you", that is a prompt for you to state the reason for your call. We are not just exchanging pleasantries with you. Get on with it. A simple "Good morning" from you followed by silence does nothing to get your business handled.
- If you fail to pay your bill in a timely manner and the result is a disconnection, do not gripe to me about the many ways we have inconveninced you. Remember those notices we sent you?? We were not kidding! I do not care that you may have to miss work or take a cold shower. Paying your bill on time will prevent this.
- Speaking in a rude or profane manner will not change our minds. Ever.
- Failure to plan on your behalf DOES NOT constitute an emergency on our behalf. Deal with it.
Follow these simple rules and we will get along just fine.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Six Weird Things About Me!!
I suppose I should go ahead a throw the 6 weird things about me out here since in some twisted way that is what led me here. Here goes!
1. I have claustrophobic toes. I know this sounds bizarre but it is true. My little piggies can not tolerate being closed inside of shoes or socks. It is open toe sandals or bare feet for me!
2. I have an obsession with the deceased. Don't ask.
3. I enjoy eating salads but will have a all-out temper tantrum if Taco Bell screws up my order and puts lettuce on my tacos! I can not stand the way it taste. Even if a small amount gets mixed in with the cheese. It ruins the entire experience for me.
4. I love to scrapbook but it freaks me out if I am using the only copy I have of a particular picture in a scrapbook layout. I insist on making copies at one of those Kodak kiosks before gluing it down! The memories must be preserved in multiple locations.
5. I disliked most of the people I went to High School with, yet feel compelled to use classmates.com and MySpace to search for these people and catch up with them. Even though I still dislike them.
6. I have chameleon tendencies. Example--I change the dialect of my voice depending on who I am with.
There you have it--the six weird things about me!
1. I have claustrophobic toes. I know this sounds bizarre but it is true. My little piggies can not tolerate being closed inside of shoes or socks. It is open toe sandals or bare feet for me!
2. I have an obsession with the deceased. Don't ask.
3. I enjoy eating salads but will have a all-out temper tantrum if Taco Bell screws up my order and puts lettuce on my tacos! I can not stand the way it taste. Even if a small amount gets mixed in with the cheese. It ruins the entire experience for me.
4. I love to scrapbook but it freaks me out if I am using the only copy I have of a particular picture in a scrapbook layout. I insist on making copies at one of those Kodak kiosks before gluing it down! The memories must be preserved in multiple locations.
5. I disliked most of the people I went to High School with, yet feel compelled to use classmates.com and MySpace to search for these people and catch up with them. Even though I still dislike them.
6. I have chameleon tendencies. Example--I change the dialect of my voice depending on who I am with.
There you have it--the six weird things about me!
Here we go!
I have become a self-proclaimed blog-stalker.
It all started innocently enough...I read something on a friend of a friends blog titled "six weird things about me". I was almost in stitches laughing at the quirks of this individual--and the fact that she would post them for the world to read. It intrigued me so I Googled "six weird things about me" and the results were astonishing!! It seems that this is a blog tag game that I was totally unaware of. I clicked on several links to read what people wrote about themselves and somewhere along the way I found a blog that had me so consumed that beefore I realized it 2 hours had past. It made me think that this would be a great outlet for telling my tales!
It all started innocently enough...I read something on a friend of a friends blog titled "six weird things about me". I was almost in stitches laughing at the quirks of this individual--and the fact that she would post them for the world to read. It intrigued me so I Googled "six weird things about me" and the results were astonishing!! It seems that this is a blog tag game that I was totally unaware of. I clicked on several links to read what people wrote about themselves and somewhere along the way I found a blog that had me so consumed that beefore I realized it 2 hours had past. It made me think that this would be a great outlet for telling my tales!
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