:) :) :)

I love sitting at my desk and seeing my outlook folder pop up on the screen announcing the arrival of a new message from him. There is never much in the messages, just one or two lines of idle chit-chat, but it is enough to bring a smile to my face.
I have said it before, and I am sure I will say it again--I love reuniting with special people from the past! I love the thrill, the rush, the emotions, the whole deal. This one is a little different than others though. This one is special. He always has been special to me--far more than he would have realized. I am thankful and greatful and happy as can be about our reunion!
Long live the happy times :)

things...

If I was brave enough these are the things I would say to you:
Seeing you walking toward me yesterday tugged at my heart more than I would ever have imagined.
Talking to you and realizing just how much we have missed of each others lives was sad.
I have thought about you more over the years than I would ever admit.
You seem to remember more details about certain things than I do, but you left a place in my heart that I could never forget.
I really wanted you to kiss me in the elevator.
When you hugged me in the parking lot, I did not want you to let go.

Success!

I had my lunch date yesterday!
I arrived a few minutes early and stood waiting for him in the lobby of his office building. When he came walking toward me, my eyes lit up like a Christmas tree! Gosh, it was so great to see him again after all this time. It took a lot of restraint on my part to pull of the casual hug and "Hey, how are you" bit. We left the office building and walked out into the bustling lunchtime streets of downtown Charlotte. There was no discussion about where we would eat lunch, he just led me to a nearby eatery and opened the door. I love the way he placed his hand on the small of my back as we walked through the doors. We were promptly seated and the conversation began to flow. Even though the topics covered verified it had been a while since our last time together, the ease between the two of us led you to believe no time had past at all.
It was so great to see him and catch up and just spend time together. But, alas, all good things must come to an end. Well before I was ready, it was time for him to head back to work. He was such a gentleman and insisted on paying for our meal and then walked me back to my car. We shared a few amazing hugs and went our separate ways.
I am pleased to say our reunion was a success!

Lunch!

We have lunch plans for tomorrow. I am very excited about this...probably more so than I should be! I love the initial rush you get when seeing an old friend for the first time in years--especially when you used to share a certain chemistry with that person. It is so exhilirating and you have those few moments of awkward fumbling--do I go for the hug, the kiss on the cheek, handshake???--but once that smooths over and the physical contact occurs it is like coming home.
About a year ago I met an old classmate of mine for lunch. We had exchanged a few emails prior to this meeting and I was pleased with the prospect of a walk down memory lane with this person. When I arrived he was not there. I waited for over 15 minutes past our agreed upon time before he finally showed up. In his defense, he did attempt to call me at home, thinking that was my cell phone number. The first few minutes were awkard to say the least. It was like after 10 minutes of bringing each other up to speed on the previous 10 years, we had nothing else to say. I am a talker--lulls in conversation do not happen when I am around! It was odd to me that here we sat--two friends who used to share everything with each other--could now not manage enough conversation to get through a quick meal.
Got off track there for a minute...guess I am just hoping for the best but preparing for the worst for tomorrow's plans.
Hopefully I will have nothing but good things to report...
More later!

D-O-N-E!!!

What is he doing? Lately communication has been hit or miss and very scarce. The relationship we have worked so long to build is diminishing and even though I feel I could put things back on track, I just don't think it is my responsibility any longer. I have been the one to keep things going all these years and I am just tired of it. He needs to find a way to balance everything in his life to make time for this. I am done being the one fixing things he breaks. Game Over. The End.
There are so many things I do not understand, yet I am not even trying to ask questions to help piece it together. If he does not know how I feel about all of this by now, it is not for my lack of explaining.

The List!

Would it be safe to assume that most women in their late 20's, early 30's have what I like to call "The List"? To me The List consists of the names of people I had relationships with in the past--either romantic or platonic--that I have lost touch with over the years. To be on my List you are a person who played a significant role in my life at one time. I loved you or cared deeply about you. I think of you often. It is hard to recall memories from a point in my life without your face taking center stage. Perhaps I goofed up and made dumb mistakes. Maybe distance was the reason for us parting ways. Whatever the reason for losing touch, I want to know that you are doing well in life. I want you to be happy and to find the things you have been looking for. I want to see your smiling face and hear your warm voice on the other end of the phone.
Get the picture???
Lately I have been thinking about my List more and more. I think it has something to do with the big 3-0 rapidly approaching and a strong desire to hold on to my youth. Whatever the reason, I have the List on my mind an awful lot.
What is a girl to do? Become a phycho stalker and track these people down or just let them remain where they currently are--in my past?
My List is short--only consisting of a handful of people. Of course there is a higher number of people who played an important part in my life at some point, but remember this is an elite group--the ones I want to see again.

Memories...

A few back and forth messages on the social networking site is all that we have accomplished thus far. He has suprised me by making a couple of references to things from the past. I am the type of person who remembers entirely too much. I can recall specific details about things and events--even when they are insignificant. It is a dorkiness that I possess, and only share this with my closest girlfriends for fear of being considered a total freak.
The funny thing is, when other people do the same thing and bring it to my attention, I feel flattered. Wow!! In their little library of memories, I am one worth holding on to. What an amazing thing, right?? So, of course, I had a nice ego boost by this old friend from the past recalling a few tales from the past with me.
Not much going on other than that. :)

It's been a while and would take way too much typing to catch up on everything at once, so let me just start with the latest.
I got a "friend request" on a social networking site I belong to yesterday. By the requesters name I knew instantly who it was and could hardly wait to leave work for a place to check my account and confirm. I sent a message to him and today I was able to read his reply. It has been years since we last spoke (7 to be exact). Things between us had a bitter end, yet I can not recall the details of why. I think it was more of a him hating me thing than anything else. Oh, well...
I get such a kick out of catching up with people from my past! I know it is rather sad and pathetic, but I can not help myself. I think because anytime you reunite with someone from the past there will be guarateed memory sharing, which takes me back to those times in my life and makes me feel young and free...if only for a short while.
I will keep you posted on how this progresses...