Yuck!

It took me a long time to get over you.
Much longer than it should have.
I spent the weeks and months following our seperation in constant state of depression. Crying all the time, not able to eat, sleep, or even function. Once I passed that stage, and my body started to move on, my heart still lagged behind. I am not sure exactly when it happened, but one day when I saw you, instead of having my heart tugged all around, I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
So, why is it now, after talking to you for less than a week, you have such a strong pull on me again?
I hate that you can do this to me.
I hate myself for letting you even more.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I love the old saying "Some friends are for a season, some friends are for a reason".
I have always had people in my life that come and go, yet leave footprints on my heart that make them impossible to ever forget. There is an old boyfriend from high school who in my concious state rarely crosses my mind. He is not what I would call "the great love of my life". Just a normal high school sweetheart kind of thing. We did not share any of the awkward "firsts" of adolesence with each other. Yet, for some reason, once or twice a month I have vivid dreams in which he plays the starring role. No clue why this is!
I have an ex who I dated for a long amount of time and back in those days I thought he climbed up on a ladder and hung the moon for me each and every night. These days I have to really rack my brain to recall anything about him! He is just gone from my heart and soul as if he was never there.
There is another ex who will always be a part of who I am. When he hurts, I hurt with him. When he is happy, I am happy for him. Even when we broke up and I felt that my life could not possibly continue without him in it, I still felt good knowing he was in a better place.
He is hurting now, and I want to help so bad. I just don't know what to do or say to make it better. I did not cause the pain, but I can see clearly now the sort of pain I did cause him in the past--and it kills me.

WTF?????

Time to go back and clean the slate of any comments made previously by me about how great life is!
LIFE STINKS!!!
I am 100% living in a funk right now. The past 2 weeks have been pure hell for me! I would say things could not get any worse, but I know better.
Hubby lost his job about 2 weeks ago. Totally random, out of the blue. No severance, no nothing. Let me say, we are very much a two income family. Even with both incomes, we live an extremely budget concious life. The incoming funds and the outgoing bills are not too far apart. So, obviously, removing one of those incomes with no forsight or planning has left us in a bit of a pickle. Not to mention, hubby is sad and mopey because he feels inadequate and miserable.
Then, a mere 2 days following hubby's unexpected departure from the land of the employed, my dad goes in for a routine colonoscopy. No symptoms, no problems, just giving in to his doctors urges to have this test done. Boom. Colon Cancer is living inside. They do not know how far advanced it is, or even what all the treatment will entail. He goes in for surgery next week to have half the colon removed and they will go from there...
On a less severe, but also concerning note, my little boy is starting to have some issues as well. We are pressing for the school system to get him enrolled in their speech therapy program. Geez! Who would have known all the red tape they put you through for this! He is struggling with concentration on assignments and becomes easily discouraged and aggravated if something does not come easy to him. I don't want to use the dreaded ADD words, but I am starting to wonder...
Well, that sums up life for me. Hope yours is better!
Lots going on in my little world.